Day of Hope

For anyone who is involved in my Baby loss Families community, you may or may not know that it is 19 August Day of Hope, in recognition of the many families who are without their babes/ies tonight.  It is a concept that was born by a beautiful mother Carly Marie Dudley who also runs the blogs, Names in the Sand, Project Grief and Heartfelt Cards.  I applaud Carly in such brave efforts to put everything into these project for the purpose of healing.

  This is but one of the many flowers that can be seen on Facebook today, this one was tagged for me by my dear and forever thinking friend.  I am wearing mine in recognition of my Angel twin daughter Vikki-Ann.  If you can please spare a moment or two to remember.  Today  is also the day that many Memory Boxes and Bags were delivered to hospitals all over the world, in memory of many precious babies, in the hope to give recently grieving parents a resource to help them through this tough time.  I thought I would share this with you.

Victims of Life

How often are we greeted on Facebook with a status update about how sad a person's life is.  I'm talking about the ones who love to share their ailments of cold and flu, blah this and blah that.  Well I think Ive had my fair share of eye rolling encounters on the subject matter and it dawned on me that people are victims of life.  Life in general is such a pain for these people and this goes on to effect someone else who is in the same frame of mind.  I hear teenagers moaning about life ans while they may be genuinely in pain over boys or what ever.  In the back of my mind I'm thinking get some real problems really.  Does this make me a selfish person? No it means that I am allergic to crap.  The ones who need the most help, love and support are  the ones who say everything is fine.  Yet you know they are falling apart.  Maybe I'm just a moan bag and someone undeserving of an opinion but things need to be said.  Things are okay out in the open. 

Running out of fingers

I find that I am running out of fingers in terms of I have my finger in sooo many pies, that my addiction to thinking is actually being satisfied.  Just a tad might I add.  I am in the process of researching Maori Birth Rites and to find out just what went on back in the days of old.  Its more to do with a satisfaction that what I'm reading is not exactly gospel so to speak.  I cringe when I read the thwarted (yes I said thwarted) research examples based on the historian Elsdon Best.  I actually feel I have a personal vendetta against all of his history books for the mere fact it doesn't add up and we are ritually accused of being Pagans.  So The Birthing Woman - Te Ukaipo has been created to enlighten or educate for want of a better word, anyone who is really interested in looking at the holistic, spiritual and cultural aspect of child birthing and beyond.
Also, there is my natural therapy interest, which I will include in the Birthing Woman blog, as I feel it encompasses a different approach to things womanly.  We are the vessels that bring life and we need to allow them to function as they were meant to.  Couple this with conscious decisions and objections and you make for one unstoppable mama that's for sure.  I am aware that there are hate groups out there who frown upon the holistic ideas in life and am aware that my views on the subject matter may be challenged by my own people.  But, I will go about things as I know and continue to educate myself based on that.  Please drop in on my other blogs if you have the time.

Rainbow Walls

Rainbows are pretty significant to me, just like stars and art. It's nice to be reassured sometimes, that there is a rainbow that comes to visit me when I need it most. What do rainbows hold for you?
As babylost mothers, they are our blessings following our grief. They are the ones that arrive, after your life has been pushed into turmoil. Losing a child at any age is heart wrenching and painful. Often met with uncomfortable silences once the time passes. No one will admittedly talk about baby loss, that is not until it happens to you.

Weekends

I have resorted to not planning my weekends as I know that the plans change pretty much the minute I plan something.  Its been a beautiful weekend here in Sydney, Australia.  I'm focused on my weight loss goals and have all the intentions to stick it out.  I know its only a matter of months until we fly to New Zealand, so its a must that I get this on track.
Am exploring my options in training to be a midwife, that is after I have had one more baby and then that's it for me.  No more children until I have grandchildren and though the thought scares me, I'm looking forward to it.  I just hope in my heart that my children find the right partners that nurture their spirits.  In the time being, I am learning to understand supplements and how they can benefit the body.  I have trialed Vitex with a combination of Pre-natal Supplements and Vitamin B6.  It was important that I get my cycles back on track following a very long absence in ovulating and when you are TTC this factor is by no means a good.  So 4 months ago I started supplementing with Vitex, taking only 1 a day and much to my excitement, my cycles were kick started last month.  You can not imagine how overjoyed I was to welcome them back, so now its an active push to conceive after the long wait.  With the weight loss so far, this has assisted also.  My test were inconclusive and although it was considered to be PCOS, I beg to differ considering my blood work all come back normal.  Apart from low Iron stores, which I have since supplemented with green leafy vegetables and the Pre-natal supplements I am taking.  I feel a lot more healthier and not so drained, although the one thing I am not managing very well is my sleep cycles.  Like clock work I am up in the wee hours and struggling to motivate myself in the mornings. 
Eczema has had its claws on me lately, so I am trying to manage that by natural means.  Salt water is working a treat to heal the inflammation and settle the weeping I experience.  Another factor I looked in to was my progesterone levels, which affects the good bacteria levels in the stomach.  Im feeling that at times thrush has been dancing within, so a good probiotic to balance the flora is needed.